A moment in time with Gram Pam and me

I know you all are waiting to hear a funny story about me and Gram Pam but we haven't had a 'blog' moment yet... Well we sorta did the other day when she got here... We ran over to CVS to get more Amaretto DiSaranno [duh] and we are waiting in line and this black lady was standing at the photo machine... The black lady says "It won't print?"  Pam says "What are you trying to print?"  "The man of my dreams!"  I said "Uh oh, might be a sign!"

"Oh girl... Don't say that!"  then she says to Pam "Girl check it out, is this border to kiddie like?"  Pam says "No its fine... betcha I know where that photo was taken..."  The black lady smiles "Ok... where" Pam says "The penitentiary!"  "Yup, he gets out this week"  I said "Oh ya, how long was he in?" I didn't know what else to say but she was so happy "a year"  then we left... I said "Pam, How in the hell did you know it was taken at a prison?"  I never would have guessed that... "Ohhh c'mon Kendra, blue shirt, beige khaki's and it was a Polaroid..."    I said "Oh"

Then Pam tried to talk me into going through the Jack in the Box drive thru the wrong way... I said "If I do it... you have to talk in an English accent and say something like "Oh I'm sorry... in my country.. this is the right way" she laughed and we just went home...

We are headed to the High Desert house in about an hour... UGH Now my hubby is trying to kill me and my partner in crime... LOL...

Oh check this out... I know you guys are gonna say [oh you have such a nice body you are so skinny anyway] Don't you dare! I have gained so much weight recently you don't even know but I hide it well with my bodacious ta ta's, and 5'10 frame... Ok I just want you to know I am not fishing for compliments, I just find this very strange ok...

Gram Pam brought me 2 bathing suits ... 1 piece's... I always wear a bikini but I also feel like I am 42 years old, I have gained a bunch of weight and maybe it is time this Mom starts acting her age and wear a 1 piece...

So I wore one yesterday and Sam didn't like it [he is my hubby he is suppose to feel that way] but then later Kieffer says "Mom OMG! Are you wearing a 1 piece? What are you doing? Take that off you look 70 years old!"  I said "It's my new look, when people ask how old I am now I am going to say 70... then they will say "Damn YOU LOOK GOOD for your age!"

 

Kieffer says "Seriously Mom... no 1 pieces"  WTH?  So I told Gram Pam "I am going upstairs to put on a G-string and some titty tassles, see if he doesn't like the 1 piece after that" Gram Pam laughed...

 

I didn't do that... but jeepers I never in my wildest dreams thought my 16 year old son would care so much about my bathing suit...

 

Just so you guys know... Me and Gram Pam are gonna be buried in G-strings and titty tassles... [we wanna give em something to talk about at the funeral]

I also told Sam to air brush my casket to look like my blog and give everyone a marker... so they can leave one last comment...

 

Gram Pam wants her casket to look like a Ameretto DiSarrano bottle...

 

That is a running joke with us!