Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sometimes you just have to let your kids go...

Before we left for Arizona we had some problems with Kris our oldest... [26 and works for our company, had the DUI last year, sent him to 12 weeks of anger management classes after he got into it with another employee in our company]
Anyway... long story short...  Kris got snotty with another guy in our company and left a jobsite in a huff... 
So Sam asked me to go along and meet with Kris at the office.  The last time he had a meeting with Kris about his anger he stormed out slammed the door and peeled out in his car - ofcourse Kris denied he did any of this - so Sam wanted me to be there too. We decided on the way there we were going to let him go... If any other employee had done a 10th of the crap Kris has pulled they would have been fired long ago...  The other employees were finally getting so tired of Kris not pulling his own weight they were starting to complain to our office manager...  [she has a way of saying there is a problem even when there isn't so Sam asked a few subcontractors who said "Kris really doesn't do anything"]
The final straw came when Sam had been trying to reach Kris to tell him what material and tools he needed to bring to the jobsite that morning... but Kris was talking to his girlfriend for a half an hour on his cell phone...
When he got to the jobsite and found out he was digging a ditch that day and Doug our other employee was pissed because he didn't bring the materials he needed... Kris got pissed and stormed off the jobsite... Sam found out, and said "Kris meet me at the office in half an hour"
 
Sam said to me "I am tired of being angry with Kris... He is my son, I just want to love him, give him a hug when he comes over, I am 50 years old, my life is supposed to be getting easier, I just cant do this anymore..."
 
Anyway... we walked into the office and Sam said very calmly "Kris, we are going to have to let you go" he never got a chance to say "but we are going to give you a weeks pay and Ill set you up with some extra tools so you can find another job" because Kris threw his bag of chips in the air, took the company credit card he had and threw it on the ground, slammed the front door, and peeled out of the parking spot in the driveway and then peeled out down the street!
Of course he told Candice he never did any of that! She tried to tell him its a blessing because now you can have a relationship with Dad, as Dad, not your employer... [she used to work for the company too] I guess Kris doesn't want to hear that... he feels he was wrongfully terminated...
So I have no idea if Kris will be coming for Thanksgiving or not... I told Candice to tell him he is welcome...
 
Sometimes you just have to let your kids go...  they have to sink or swim on their own...
 
Parenting ain't for sissies...

5 comments:

imgr8phil said...

That's too bad.  If he cannot keep a job with his own dad I don't know what he will do in the reality of the workplace in general.  You are right, it shouldn't be getting harder, it should be easier and one would expect that children would grow up and be responsible.  You guys did the right thing and he needs to get past his anger and grow up.

Phil

frankandmary said...

Kris has been living in an artificial environment.  Daddy is the top dog.  Some kids think they are successful & ALL that by proximity. He needs to learn that is not true. It is tough to deal with but better now than when he is 30.  He is young enough to turn himself around if he wants to, but he doesn't need your help right now, because he can't except it without expecting some level of entitlement.
~Mary

queeniemart said...

so sorry to hear this...i cant imagine how stressful it is for you....and i hope he calms down and comes home and talks to his father.
love,lisa

eml625 said...

Your doing the right thing. He wont think so, obviously , but someday, he'll appreciate it.
Love ya
E.

nay0114 said...

:SIGH: I know what you mean. Hopefully Kris will grow up, get another job and make up with his Dad. I hope he shows up for Thanksgiving to be with all of you all. He sounds like he's having a hard time facing he has a problem. You all did the right thing even though I know it killed you to do it, but you're right if it was someone else they'd been gone a long time ago. He'll figure it out.
Take care, Chrissie